So what’s in the bottom of your popcorn bag? Can we still call those things “Old Maids”? Or do we have to invent a new term that’s seven syllables long? Oh well, “Old Maid” still appears in urban dictionaries, though it’s considered either Not Nice and Archaic, since pitifully few women remain maids for very long, if you catch my drift.

Popcorn isn’t the only food that ends up with old maids. For instance, what happens to strawberries? Not all of them can be the beauties that get dipped in chocolate, or sandwiched between layers of shortcake, or packed in dieter’s lunches.20150816_185401

Some of them end up in frozen tubs. And they should not be ashamed of their fate. This is tasty stuff, and I may just be tempted open the fridge somewhere around midnight and help myself to a spoonful. It would be hard to stop at one.

Most of this container made its way into Frozen Strawberry Squares, a fluffy delight that includes whipped cream and buttery crumbs:

1 cup flour
1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter
2 egg whites
1 package (10 oz.) frozen strawberries, partially defrosted
1 cup sugar
2 TB lemon juice
1 cup heavy cream, whipped

Combine flour and brown sugar. Cut in butter as for pastry until mixture forms crumbs. Spread in large shallow pan. Bake at 350′ for 15 minutes, stirring frequently to keep from burning. Remove from oven. Cool and crush into crumbs. Set aside.

In large bowl combine egg whites, strawberries, and sugar; beat until stiff and thick, at least 5 minutes. (Mixture looks like a big pink cloud.) Stir in lemon juice. Fold in whipped cream. In bottom of 9×13-inch baking dish, spread all but 1/2 cup of crumbs. Pour strawberry filling evenly over crumbs. Sprinkle remaining crumb mixture over top; cover with foil or plastic wrap and freeze for several hours. (Mixture will not freeze hard.) Cut into squares to serve. Makes 12 servings.   (Recipe from Winifred Jardine’s Managing Your Meals.)

I was just about to whip the cream when my daughter called. “I have a cooking question. I decided to make Frozen Strawberry Squares today, because they’re so yummy and . . .”

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Take heart, Old Maid Strawberries. See how much you are loved?


I was less taken by this week’s book, Muzzled by Michael Smerconish. I read the first chapter aloud to my Mister while we traveled. It graphically describes a crude training video made for a football team. Before long, Mister asked for no more, preferring instead to listen to general authority interviews.

I’m still halfway interested, though Smerconish might be better in small doses.

The author is a talk radio host in Philadelphia, a decent and knowledgeable guy, even if his stories sound more like what you tell friends over an end-of-the-workday beer. Hey, not everybody can sound like a pulpit Mormon.

What keeps Smerconish up at night is political correctness run amok. Some of us see isolated incidents of over-offended folk making us say “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Smerconish sees a disturbing pattern. And he wrote this book ten years ago, so the poor fellow must really have the vapors by now.

I share his concern. I’m not a journalist. I don’t feel the heavy hand of censorship crimping my work. But I depend on journalists for information. If they can’t speak freely, we all suffer.